Signs Your Love is a Narcissist
Keep reading to learn more about the signs your partner might be a hopeless narcissist.
Sometimes love is blind. When we fall for someone, we tend to ignore their bad qualities, at least during the honeymoon phase of the relationship! However, a narcissist can have a negative long-term impact on your relationship.
The word “Narcissism” actually comes from the name of a person, “Narcissus.” He was so enamored by his own reflection in a pond, that eventually drove everyone who loved him away, and refused to love anything but his own beauty. Is your partner just as hopeless?
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, and they can be of either sex, young or old, you probably have a clue that something is awry from the very beginning. Here are some other clues that will let you in on the person ‘behind the mask’.
Spending too much time talking about personal achievements.
We’ve all been there. You get dressed up and go out for dinner with a brand new date, only to discover that they only talk about themselves. It’s a real turn off. However, if you really like someone you might try to look past this and accept it as part of the whole package.
The trouble is that a narcissist who only talks about their achievements won’t be an attentive, selfless, and equal partner. If your loved one talks way too much about themselves, try talking to them about it. Let them know that you feel overlooked and under-appreciated. Perhaps, they just need a wake-up call to start focusing on what’s really important, you!
Treating you different when in the company of others.
Do you ever feel like your significant other treats you in a different way when they are around their friends? Maybe they just ignore you when they are spending time with family? Whatever the circumstances, this is a strong indication that your partner is a narcissist. Someone with narcissistic tendencies will be too focused on themselves to make sure that you are included in the conversation and comfortable around their social group. They also might want to appear like they have power over their partner.
Social media addict
We can all get a little addicted to our Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or Snapchat sometimes. Yet, if you feel like your love interest is spending more time with the phone then with you, I’m afraid we have a problem. A great way to get confirmation that your partner is a narcissist is to take a look at their Instagram feed. If they have more selfies that photos of the two of you, they are definitely thinking of themselves a bit too much.
If this brief guide has confirmed your worst suspicions, don’t panic. Make sure you talk to your partner about how you feel.
If you are in love with a narcissist, no doubt you have been a target of their explosive, obsessive behavior. It is a difficult position to be in, and it’s certainly easy to ask yourself if they are worth it, or when is a relationship over?
As previously mentioned, it may not be absolutely necessary to seek breakup advice unless of course their behavior is making your life completely miserable. Here is how you can handle a narcissist.
First, give them options. Beneath their tantrums and blow ups, narcissistic people fear being left out of the loop. What they want is to be always in control. Knowing this fact, you don’t want to go to battle with them about decisions.
Living With a Narcissist
Living with a narcissist is a lot like living with a toddler in an adult body. You have to give them options that make them feel like their in control when you’re the one holding the reigns for real.
Just like a toddler the trick is to make them feel respected and in control by offering them options to choose from, rather than bypassing their opinions and making decisions on your own. Always give them the chance to participate.
Second, have you noticed that your partner gets easily agitated when frustrated? Don’t they love drama and seem to love the chaos even more? When there’s a problem, direct their attention to the solution, not the details of the problem. Let them know what the challenge is, and go straight to the possible solutions.
Again, this will direct their focus on the options, rather than getting them worked up about the problem! Want to make them really happy? Let them grab the credit for choosing the right solution. Make them think it was their idea in the first place. If you feel uncomfortable about doing this, try it and see how the rewards you reap justify giving them the credit. People will understand.
Lastly, go along with the ride. Now that you understand that narcissists lack empathy, don’t expect them to give you a lot of sympathy when you tell them your feelings, and don’t expect a lot of praise from them either.
Take them for who they are, and remember that they love power and truly believe they are special and unique. Since they live for attention and admiration, just praise them for their good qualities and show your delight when they do something to show their love for you.
Living with a narcissist is a mixed bag, and sometimes you might feel under-appreciated, overwhelmed, or frustrated by the relationship. But equipped with the right tools and skills, you might be able to make it work. Perhaps. However, it takes quite a unique person who is able to manage this because typically loving and living with a person who has narcissistic qualities will eventually eat you up alive.
Love is ideally a two way street. If they truly care about their relationship with you, they will be willing to make positive changes. Relationships are hard work, so don’t expect a miracle to happen overnight.
Always speak up if you feel like their narcissistic traits are having a negative impact on the relationship. After a while, if you feel your loved one is incapable of change, you need to have the strength to move on and find someone who will love you as you deserve.
The best thing to do is seek professional advice if you feel your situation is out of control and you feel like your losing yourself in the relationship. Remember, it’s a big ocean out there and the true narcissist, sadly will always find another ‘supply’ to replace you.
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